no plan, just carry on for a while

Yes I checked. Last post was on July 7th. So another week. Real life has been horrible that the mere thought of re-thinking it at the end of day is dangerous and may lead to emotional break down.

Oh I mean, Mum is much better now.
But!
Well.
I don't have much to say about the past week.
Work: I have been quite absent-minded. And I can be very depressed sometimes. Oh I don't have the mind to think things out now. But I have a lot of ideas.
Family: Get to see my aunts very often. They are a great help.
Music: After Mum moved out of hospital last Saturday, her two sisters came to our apartment often and helped a lot with housework. So I got to play piano for a while every day starting from Monday. I still don't have the heart to follow my usual way (scales, hannon, czerny...). But I realized that playing Bach concerntrated for a while (15 min or so) means the start of a good night. It makes me feel free of restlessness.
Reading: I finally wrote the review of In Praise of Idleness. I think I want to write an English version. I have been reading Salmon of Doubt. It has been a long time since I dropped it. I find that I am sometimes too tired to remember some of the details. For example ... Oh I can't remember the example either!! I felt it so strongly today at lunch break! I think it has something to do with Rhino .
A lot of online networking. It's not really the need of communicating with online friends, it's the need to distract myself from serious work. I am tired. I just need passive entertainment. The easiest to get at work and at home is hop online. Must stop this. (well, but i lack the major motivation to go on with serious work.)
I finally allow myself to play around the idea of my fancy to T. I think our friendship is quite special. He is someone who evolves and can still deal with past with ease. I like that! But the fancy is more a relief to my major mental activity than real like to him (though I like him a lot).

no plan. just carry on! Oh...