tough

My mum does not agree with me in an important decision. I don't want to be unreasonable or stubborn. But I can't see that I am wrong either.

The decision in question is: should I take the exam and try to be a civil servant?
This paticular disagreement is only part of a more fundamental disagreement between us. I think for the time being I will try not to make the problem bigger by digging it deeper for her.

My mum has been a hard working person. My family could have been living in poverty if my Mum had not tried to work in government. Mum works in tax department. She is responsible of taking care of about 75 businesses in the district. She is the lowest in status in the government (until about a year ago she got a slight promote). She has been working like that for more than 15 years. She just retired this July. While my father is an electrician in a state run hotel. My mother earns 4 times more than him.

The job in the government is secure and comfortable, and profitable. It is natural that Mum wants me to follow her steps.

My mum is honest and hard working. But I wouldn't consider myself to be living an honest life if I work for our government. I don't believe it fair to pay government staff so much more than other equally hard working people. If I were being paid like that... I can't think of how I should look at myself. I might become VERY VERY cynical I suppose, too cynical to be healthy.

Another of my objection is that I don't like the people working in government. They are usually people very unlike me. I think usually they are either retarted, resigned from the desire to pursue more things with effort, or they are profit-minded. I wouldn't like to work among them.

I have another objection that is very practical. The competition for becoming a civil servant is now very severe (because it is unfairly highly paid) that even if I make effort to prepare for the exam, I would not be likely to pass it. Although I am smart and knowledgeable enough for the job, my chances of getting a job offer in the government is very small. If I fail the exam (which is very likely) Mum would not be satisfied, if by extreme luck I passed, I would still hestitate to accept the offer. So it seems to me efforts to prepare for the exam is quite pointless, the result is not worth the effort.

Battery is running out. I will post this and continue later.